Welcome to a New Year!
Are you a person who sets resolutions for yourself and then struggles to follow through on them? Do you become frustrated by the resolution hype when you read social media or talk to your friends?
Even though the New Year has already started, it is never too late to make decisions about what you want to do better or different in your life. If you think about it, how often do you create goals that are unrealistic, unreasonable, or unhelpful? This is probably more to blame on the goals itself than on you and your motivation or desire. You may be wondering, "how in the world can I improve my expectations and work on the goals I set for myself?"
Let's talk through some important points about how to make goals realistic, reasonable, and helpful then look at an example to illustrate all these points.
Important: it takes approximately one month to build a habit.
START SMALL AND SLOW
How often do you get to January 1st and say, "I am going to exercise every day" or "I am going to eat healthier" or "I am going to volunteer more"? All of us have, me included. The issue with these statements is they are too general and may be unrealistic, unreasonable, and unhelpful. For instance, if you worked out one time per month last year, how in the world are you going to jump up to every day of the week this year?
Instead, pick one day a week at the beginning along with a specific time of day and a specific duration to perform the activity or task.
INSERT FLEXIBILITY
Allow for modifications if needed. Sometimes things happen, situations don't go as planned, you get sick, or other interferences occur. Be flexible and modify your plan just for that week and then return to your original plan the following week. Do all of this without criticizing yourself!
BE ACCOUNTABLE
If you keep your plan to yourself, then it is more likely easier to justify not following through. It is like that small voice inside your head that only you hear. You know the one that if others heard they may gasp with shock and dismay. Informing others of your plans or posting it somewhere for others to see helps you be more accountable. Plus, if you display it in a place you frequently look like your refrigerator or your sink or your closet/bathroom, then you will be reminded of the plan.
REWARD YOURSELF
I am not talking about getting a Sundae or Rice Krispy treat. Learn to reward yourself in a kind and encouraging way by being your best friend. Telling yourself how fabulous you are and what a great job you are doing can actually go a long, long way. Even if you sometimes do not like yourself, being more nurturing and forgiving can help improve this outlook. Notice how you feel after.
HOW DOES THIS LOOK FOR YOU?
Let's say I want to start walking at the local park for 1 mile. I decide I am going to walk every Saturday (start small and slow) from 10-10:45 am (time and duration). If it the weather is not favorable for walking on that day, then I may walk either later that day or on Sunday, for instance, or any day before next Saturday that has improved weather for my walk (insert flexibility). I will adjust the time on the day I substitute if needed also. I put a reminder in my phone with an alarm 30 minutes before so I can get ready and notify my partner, children, or friend (be accountable). I am consistently walking one time per week, and I notice my mood has improved. After each walk, I tell myself how proud I am of me and how good I feel (reward myself). After a month, I decide to add one more day because I have been consistent and enjoy this activity. I continue to make modifications as needed knowing I am motivated and looking forward to performing this activity. I benefit from my efforts in creating a more realistic, reasonable, and helpful expectation.
You can do this!